Middle of the Road
I spent 17 years involved in persuading people in this world to accept my beliefs - beliefs about love, peace, unity etc. disguised in a "all-or-nothing" religion. I learned a lot of good things. I learned a lot of bad things as well. Organized religion perpetuates "doing the right thing" in a way that strips you of who you are. When you immerse yourself in a belief system long enough, you become convinced that you have some truth that others still haven't found, and you become someone that is no longer you. A dogma builds a superiority complex, an "I know what is right for your life" attitude. It was bound to crash. It did.Although I spent the last several years of my "walk with God" slowly falling away from my doctrinal position(s), it wasn't until I left at the age of 39 did and gave myself enough space to sort some things out. I found myself reading all kinds of different philosophies and beliefs, searching and trying to understand what I really believed and didn't. I discovered in my search "the middle way", a buddhist belief that teaches taking a middle of the road position on philosophical and religious beliefs. In taking this position, it frees the person to observe all of life, not just a few segments.
On many levels the Middle Way has been a source of peace I never had. It gave me back control of my conscience. To test ideas. Yet never bind myself to them. It has helped me to love more, tolerate other ideas, welcome opinions without the need to defend my own, and, most importantly, to focus on living my life in the present. Smelling the roses. Seizing the moment. And turn off the video tapes in my head of the hurtful past or fearful future.
I am not saying that I am a buddhist, but the principle of the Middle way has been a tremendously freeing idea. I can apply the good things I've learned from the past without having to hold onto the doctrines of religion that hurt my conscience. I can love freely. Choose what I think is right, not have it dictated to me.
My life has never been happier.
Comments
I like the Middle Of The Road idea. Maybe because I'm a closet explorer. I enjoy the paths I don't know. I don't mind getting sidetracked, or lost. I want to be able to stay and look around if I want. Love the mystery of it all, and of course those "Ah-ha!" moments of insight.
I love this quote by Frank Lloyd Wright- "I believe in God, only I spell it Nature."
So, I don't really have this kind of conversation with people in my life (except my Mom and my Bro). I find that most people are a little intimidated by the depth of the topic, which is okay with me- that's why I enjoy thinking and writing.
I am sensing that this journey is important to you, but that there is much more to who you are. You seem to have a dry sense of humor, and probably find some things funny that others don't. I love seeing the humor in life, can't take it all so seriously. I think it's really important in any relationship that two people "get each other". Makes it all worthwhile;)
What do you like to do with your free time? How old are your children? Mine are 12 & 16. Have you done a lot of this online dating? What are you looking for? Please answer some questions, I have an insatiable curiosity and you have been somewhat vague, Vig...
Take care,
-Beck